Sylvester Stallone

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Escape Plan

escape plan

Directed by Mikael Hafstrom
Starring Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jim Caviezel

Grade: B

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine what a movie starring Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, both in their 60’s and both enjoying a modest resurgence, would be like. The movie you just thought of is Escape Plan, and I don’t really mean that as an insult either. The film, directed by Mikael Hafstrom, knows exactly what its audience wants and delivers it. The stars are recognized as old, or at least past their prime, though that by no means diminishes their badassery, and scales back most of the big time action set pieces, until the end of course. There is also a glorious lack of the tired “we’re so old” jokes that have been saturating the recent movies of the two actors in their twilight years. But let’s be honest: you’re going to see this movie because you’ve been dreaming of a Stallone/Schwarzenegger team up all your life and it’s finally here, and no, The Expendables movies don’t really count. This is not the movie they would have made together in the 80’s, it’s not a John Rambo and John Matrix team-up, but it’s still exactly what it should be at this stage in their careers. It’s an action movie, light on character, and heavy on dudes getting punched and cheesy one-liners.

The story is that Ray Breslin (Stallone) is the best there is at breaking out of prisons and runs a business with his partner Lester (Vincent D’Onofrio), pointing out the flaws in jails. Ray is hired try to break out of the world’s most secret and secure prison, run by the sadistic warden Hobbes (Jim Caviezel). Naturally, he’s betrayed and the incarceration is real. While on the inside, he meets Emil Rottmayer (Schwarzenegger), a fellow inmate who is imprisoned for the knowledge he has about a famous criminal. They become friends, of sorts, and together plot to break out of The Tomb, as the prison is called. There are the necessary twists in the plot designed to keep the audience guessing, but the only thing that really matters *spoiler alert* is that Schwarzenegger at one point grabs a fucking minigun off a helicopter and mows a shit ton of bad guys down.

Stallone has slipped into the haunted old bad ass role a lot over the last decade and brings it out again here. He brings his dead-eyed “I’ll kill you but I kind of wish I didn’t have to” glare and the plot wisely leaves out any romance. Well, mostly, there’s something alluded to but it’s not important. Stallone’s biggest problem has always been that he’s just not particularly funny, and these kinds of movies require plenty of snappy one-liners to remind us that we’re having fun and not just watching people graphically beat the living hell out of each other. Schwarzenegger, on the other hand, despite whatever shortcomings he may have as an actor, actually has a pretty well-tuned sense of comedic timing. The man delivers the one-liner like no one in movie history, arguably. Escape Plan lets Arnold get most of the laughs, and even gives him a monologue in his native Austrian. The two stars are always at the center of this movie and the secondary roles are just that. Caviezel gets a decent amount of screen time and makes some odd acting choices. His warden never quite comes off as a legitimate threat to Stallone, who could obviously wipe the floor with him in any physical contest and also seems infinitely smarter than the villain. A good bad guy is essential to an action film and Hobbes comes up a bit short.

Escape Plan is what it is, though I suppose some social commentary about the danger of privatized prisons could be theoretically read into the script, and the movie certainly has no love for the rich either, but both of those things are a pretty big reach. This movie doesn’t offer up complex problems because it’s mission is to take us back to our more innocent days when we could call on the likes of Stallone and Schwarzenegger to take care of our evils for us in uncomplicated ways and without any moral ambiguity. Plus, did I mention Schwarzenegger fires a fucking minigun?

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Rocky as a commentary on class in America

rocky-2

Rocky has entered the public vernacular to such a degree that a traditional review is both unnecessary and irrelevant. We all know the story: a nobody, never-was fighter gets a shot at the title and goes the distance against the world champion, Apollo Creed. What needs to be discussed is the perception of Rocky as a celebration of the American Dream. Generally, people always remember the film as the ultimate underdog story, an example of how anybody, with dedication and hard work, can make it in America. The problem is, that’s not what this movie is about. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Rocky is a cynical attack on the American Dream, out to prove the whole concept as a sham.

Think about this for a second, Rocky was never going to win the fight. There was never a chance of it, and nobody, even and especially himself, ever believed he might. In a moment of vulnerability he tells Adrian that he can’t win, finally saying out loud what was already well established throughout the film. If this was truly an inspirational tale, Adrian would come back with something along the lines of “I believe in you” or “Miracles can happen.” But instead she agrees and just asks him what he’s going to do. His reply? To go the distance, because nobody ever has against Creed. Think about what that means. There is no American Dream, he can’t win, his life won’t change in any meaningful way. All he can do to fight the world is stay on his feet. He’ll still lose, is destined to do so, but he won’t let them knock him down. That’s some seriously cynical shit.

Rocky is very much about the haves and the have-nots. Balboa, being a poor nobody is paraded around like a clown by the rich class. Apollo and the promoters see this as a side show. They laugh at him, make fun of him, and never register him as any kind of threat. Hell, Apollo doesn’t even take the fight even remotely seriously until Rocky has the audacity to knock him down. The fact that this peasant thinks he’s really being given a shot at the title enrages Apollo and his team. Sure, this could be a set up to a classic underdog story, where the peasant rises up and beats the ruling class by sheer force of will, but that doesn’t happen here. In fact, the only reason Rocky goes the distance is because Apollo is kind of out of shape. Rocky had to work his ass off. He worked harder for this fight than he has for anything in his life, while Apollo barely trained, and he still is only able to fight him to a standstill. The lesson? It will take everything you’ve got to go toe to toe with the powerful elite, and you’ll still lose.

Some might respond with “but he made a shit ton of money off the fight, that’ll change his life.” Yes, he did achieve a good pay day. Rocky makes $120,000 off the fight. The problem is, that money won’t last forever. When it’s gone he’ll still be an under-educated, under-skilled, washed-up fighter. And how much do you think Creed made off the fight? Millions, easily.

So why then, does this movie work? Why is it remembered as such an inspiration film? Two reasons. The first is that the sequels completely bought into the American Dream and went into full patriotic mode, thus white washing the original movie. The second reason is that Rocky is a good and intelligent film. It has affection for all its characters, even those that should be villains. Loan sharks and drunks are shown to be full human beings who have depth. We grow to care about Pauly, and love him, even though he is horrible to his sister Adrian. Even Apollo, set up as the movie’s villain more or less, is not painted as evil. He’s exploiting a situation, yes, but he never seems like a bad guy, just kind of obnoxious. Finally, there’s Rocky. A lesser film would either make fun of him or turn him into some sort of martyr. Rocky is neither, he’s just a guy who’s in way over his head and doesn’t know how to back down from a fight. He continually tries, and mostly fails, to do the right and moral thing. He’s nice to people because he’s genuinely a nice man. He respects Apollo, his opponent, even though even Rocky isn’t stupid enough to not realize he’s being exploited. Balboa understands what’s happening to him and refuses to be a clown for the masses. He accepts his loss as a fundamental necessity of his role in life, but he won’t give them the satisfaction of humiliating him. He’ll stay on his feet, because that’s the only power he has in this life. Oh, and he gets the girl.